Ohio man patents cordless jump rope

Lester Clancy invented a cordless jump rope to aid the clumsy. The Mansfield, Ohio, man just received patent No. 7037243 for his gadget for the ungainly, which uses weighted handles to simulate that (patented) playground feel.

"If you are still jumping, you're still using your legs as well as your arms, and getting the cardiovascular workout. You just don't have to worry about tripping on the rope," Clancy told the Associated Press.

The Patently Silly website does its own riff on the bizarre invention: "Strawberry shortcake / Huckleberry pie / It's a patent on nothing, my, oh my!"

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some paperwork to file for my new wireless chicken wire. Cluck, cluck.