What the hail? Chunk of ice slams into Oakland

Geez, I knew the weather out here on the West Coast had been strange. But enormous chunks of ice falling from the sky and leaving a 3-foot hole in the sodden sod? Sounds life-threatening. I mean, everybody knows Oakland can be dangerous, but come on.

Apparently it wasn't just a big block of airplane toilet water, which has been known to fall from the sky on occasion. But now the San Francisco Chronicle reports that the investigation into the mysterious giant ice cube is, um, melting away.

Be an accordion thief

No, I'm not talking about hanging out backstage and putting the squeeze on a squeezebox. I'm talking about playing an unlikely character in the role-playing game, Kingdom of Loathing. Lord knows you could play a Disco Bandit, a Pastamancer, a Turtle Tamer or a Seal Clubber. But the Accordion Thief -- "scourge of mariachis and polka bands" -- is beyond doubt the coolest way to play.

Kingdom of Loathing is free, it's goofy, and it's approved by hysterically funny Wired News columnist Lore Sjöberg.

(Via Table of Malcontents)

Polka Lovers Klub of America

Dang! This whole "who knew?" routine is getting kinda old. It's amazing how many things exist that you really ought to know about but have never heard of.

Thank heavens for the Internet (and for our new MySpace friend, Paco, who hipped us to the Polka Lovers Klub of America).

P.S. Be sure to check the wacky picture on the club's homepage.

He's the bowling ball drilling king

Who knew getting a bowling ball custom-fitted was such a science?

Alabama man Travis Johanssen, who runs McCorvey's Pro Shop inside Lightning Strikes Bowling Center, is among the country's (if not the world's) best bowling ball drillers, reports The Birmingham News.

"In my world, there's no such thing as close," Johannsen, 27, says. "An eighth of an inch off might as well be three miles."

If you want to know more than you'll ever need to about bowling balls, brace yourself for the 10-pin science and read the rest of the story. Then find out exactly how Johannsen gets the job done, in the sidebar story, "10 steps to a perfect bowling ball."

Beastie bunny devours veggies

From the Life Imitates Claymation Art Dept: A giant rabbit is wreaking havoc on vegetable gardens in the U.K. town of Felton, leading to panic and desperate measures as seen in Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

The locals think the destructive beast is "a cross between a rabbit and a hare and bigger than either," according to Northumberland Today.

"It is a massive thing. It is a monster," said allotment holder Jeff Smith. "The first time I saw it, I said, 'What the hell is that?'"

The angry gardeners have posted armed watchmen to protect their parsnips and leeks. (AFP has a picture of a rabbit breeder holding a monster rabbit to give you an idea what they're up against.)

Power to the polka people in Cleveland

The Plain Dealer, Cleveland's paper of record, gets down and dirty today with Cecilia Dolgan, president and COO of the National Cleveland-Style Polka Hall of Fame in Euclid, Ohio.

The Q&A serves up some cool polka history (dance moves like the "Polish hop," Cleveland style vs. Chicago style, etc.), and reveals that Dolgan recorded a polka disco album in the '70s. (It didn't catch on.)

Unlike some polka purists, who get all bent about instrumentation and following the "rules," Dolgan seems to have a great attitude about "alternative polka" bands. She sums it up like this: "The more the merrier." That's our kinda polka pal.

Hope we have time to stop by the museum when we're in Cleveland to play Wilbert's Food & Music on Aug. 31.

P.S. You've gotta love a paper like The Plain Dealer that includes a polka Q&A alongside stories like "What's brewing in the world of beer" and "River poisoning intentional, meant to kill lamprey."

It's almost time for something special

For a moment Wednesday morning, the time will be numerically odd. Wired News points out that The New York Times columnist David Pogue points out that things will be highly weird for, oh, just about one second.