Don't Press the Emergency Yodel Button

No really. Don't press it. This is not an emergency. And even if it were an emergency, pressing it wouldn't help. It wouldn't help at all.

And, whatever you do, don't buy one for your home. That's the last thing any of us needs, especially in times like these. In situations like this. Not emergencies, mind you, but ... periods of stress and doubt.

I mean it. Don't press it. Think of the children.