Canadian 'Polkapalooza' Draws Accordion Army

The Kimberley International Old Time Accordion Championships sound a little like a squeezebox Sturgis, only with motor homes and polka fans rather than motorcycles and wet T-shirt contests. The Globe and Mail describes it as "an annual festival that floods the mountain community with devotees of the stretchy instrument."

"The stretchy instrument"? That's a new one.

But hordes of squeezebox fanatics descending on a small town sounds interesting, to say the least.

"People are accordion crazy up here," says Alex Meixner, one of the judges who rates competitors on "'old-time feeling,' technique and the danceability of their style ... gauged by a lone couple dancing offstage at the Civic Centre during competitions," according to the paper.

At least one stomach Steinway aficionado at the gathering is thinking more avant-garde than "old time." Reports the Globe and Mail: "One festival goer struts around wearing a white T-shirt that reads: Accordions rock."

Boy howdy they do.

Let's Hope This Guy Doesn't Get an Accordion

We already discussed the fact that accordions might be hipper than iPhones. Now this joker has put one of Apple's pricey "Jesus phones" in a blender and hit the Smoothie button.

It's destructive and incredibly wasteful -- maybe even dangerous, considering the ominous look of that black, dusty smoke -- but priceless.

Record Biz Biting the Dust?

Writing about a possible new Bruce Springsteen album featuring the E Street Band, Fox News wag Roger Friedman slips in a funny little "the sky is falling" snippet from a high-level Sony exec.

"You are the last one writing about the record business," the anonymous Sony muckety-muck told Friedman. "Don't you realize it's over?"

Can it really be that the record biz is a dinosaur wheezing out its final death rattle? Is the CD really on the verge of extinction?

Friedman says a big Springsteen rock extravaganza could be seen as a "savior" by Columbia Records. I don't think Globe Records, Those Darn Accordions' label, needs such a lifeline. But then Globe never supported an army of publicists and marketing mavens (or caviar-and-champagne executives, for that matter). The "good old days" -- which kept some folks extremely fat and happy -- may be gone forever, but I suspect people will keep making music in one form or another.

I know we will. Heck, there's a new one in the chute!

A Year Without Summerfest ...

Somehow it just doesn't feel like summer when we don't make the trek to Milwaukee to play Summerfest. Luckily, Bill from Milwaukee dropped me a line to give me a little taste of the Big Gig and share his favorite "Summerfest moment" of 2007. (Next time I hope he e-mails me a bratwurst, too.)

Writes Bill:

Saturday was a nice toasty day on the grounds, 95 degrees and high humidity. Just my kind of weather (not). Anywho, I'm watching this interesting band called The Scarring Party. They have an eclectic lineup of musical instruments: accordion, banjo, tuba, xylophone, church bell, typewriter, bassoon and didgeridoo. (No kidding.)

So, my best Summerfest moment came when the bandleader asked the soundman: "Can I get more didgeridoo in my monitor please?"

Sweet.

I wore the tattered old TDA squeezebox T-shirt to Summerfest this year. Must've had about 50 people ask if you guys would be playing.

Maybe next year Bill will be able to say "Yes."

Let There Be Lights

We don't tout a million stupid things here on the Wall of Wheeze. But I can heartily recommend the Mighty Bright XtraFlex Duet Super LED Music Stand Lightyou see here. The twin-LED gadget is easy to pack and perfect for lighting up your music stand in a dark club. Plus, they look like aliens or something. Frankly, I wish I had invented the Mighty Bright.

Accordions: Hipper Than iPhones

The accordion is set to explode, according to New York Sun writer Lenore Skenazy, who has penned "An Ode to the Squeezebox" in honor of the upcoming NYC Main Squeeze Accordion Festival.

Her thesis -- that American hipsters are catching on to the accordion in a big way -- sounds right to me. As San Francisco's self-appointed accordion ambassadors, we've been doing our share to pump up squeezebox awareness for almost two decades now, and we've seen a steady rise in the instrument's popularity over the years.

With a new Those Darn Accordions record in the chute, it's time to make the call: 2008 will be the Year of the Accordion. Brace yourself for a wild ride into the free-reed future!

What's That Sound?

If you're near New York's Pier I tomorrow, the racket you hear could be the Second Annual NYC Main Squeeze Accordion Festival, which The New York Post says "may sound like mating walruses coming from the Hudson." I bet it sounds a lot more radical than that!